The Dragon Lords: False Idols by Hollins Jon

Author:Hollins, Jon [Hollins, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: Fiction / Fantasy / Epic, Fiction / Fantasy / Humorous
Publisher: Orbit
Published: 2017-08-28T16:00:00+00:00

Of course Balur went through the hole. He did not even take off his cloak. It didn’t get caught. And it wasn’t at all harrowing. And anyone who said that he thought it was would die while watching him use their intestines as a skipping rope. And he was glad to see that Will quickly agreed that the loud, high-pitched whimpering sound that was heard as he went through the hole was definitely due to the rock walls squeaking against his scales.

And then Will grinned at Lette, and both of them seemed to suddenly be a lot happier, despite the continued absence of conversational climax.

Balur licked the air experimentally, but they definitely hadn’t been fucking while he was going through the hole.

Stupid humans.

They lit a torch and went on down the tunnel that opened before them. After the grandeur of the temple, the space beyond felt oddly anticlimactic. It was a featureless tube of dry rock that they walked through for almost ten minutes before Lette came to an abrupt halt.

“Oh,” she said, holding the torch higher still. “Oh my.”

“What?” asked Balur from the back. He couldn’t see much past the glare of the torch.

“Oh,” said Lette from the front, “just Lawl dropping the architectural boom, that’s all.”

And then she lowered the torch, and Balur saw.

The walls of the tunnel ended and space began. Simply space. Whatever walls existed, they were lost to it all. The only floor was shadowed depths.

It was not empty space, though. “Are those—” Balur checked himself.

“Yes,” said Lette.

Staircases. A labyrinth of staircases. They crisscrossed back and forth through the gigantic space. They split apart. They merged. They wove in and out of each other. Massive, impossible staircases, balanced on pillars that seemed to stretch down for eternity. In one or two places they appeared to pause at platforms, large enough to camp on, perhaps, but always these platforms led to simply more staircases. All of them leading down, and down, and down.`

“Now that,” breathed Balur, “is being a fucking catacomb.”

Lette shook her head. “You and bloody catacombs.”

As if they weren’t the most exciting thing in the world.

Stupid humans.

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